I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
