I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
