She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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