i jhust puked up my retainher.
love makes seman taste better
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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