just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
