It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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