So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
