Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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