so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
