That's intense
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
