i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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