bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
they're like a gay fantastic four
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
