Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
