This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
