weddingsv make me drug and hornr
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
