this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
and you fell through a lawn chair
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
