I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
