but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
