bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
