WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
