Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
