white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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