i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
