Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
it glows. i had to have it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
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