We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
