you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
