They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
