I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
