hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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