Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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