u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
