he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
