He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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