I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
