took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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