sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
