Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
