Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
