Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
