break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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