i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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