it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
