shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
