using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
