But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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