i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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