her vagine was all disorganized.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
