I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
