my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
