this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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