Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
