what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
