She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
