So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
